Malta to Paris

 The last blog post was sent from the pub where I stayed far too long and drank to much. I fell into the old trap of drinking pints like they're schooners and full strength like it's mid strength. It meant I wasted most of the following day in Malta. I did get out in the afternoon, but only around Sliema, where I was staying. I think there is so much more to Malta that I didn't see. I imagine in the summer you could easily spend 2 weeks there, exploring the beaches and history. I was really impressed with it. I did notice quite a few nice motorbikes there, which seems like a waste. It's like buying a yacht when you live in Alice Springs.

I'm now in Paris. I arrived around midday and made my way to the hotel. On the metro on the way here the train slammed its brakes on and all the lights went out and the emergency lights came on. Then an announcement was made in French and people began to mutter. I have no idea what happened. We sat there for a while, then the lights came back on and we continued.

Paris is a bit grotty. There is quite a few golly's on the footpath, cigarette butts and dog shit everywhere. It is how I expected Guangzhou to be. The room wasn't ready at the hotel, so I left my bag and went looking for something to eat. 

The street was really quiet and not many places were open. It is Sunday and I remember from my cycling trip stuff doesn't open on Sundays. I guess it applies in Paris as well. I went into a restaurant and it was a bit fancy. They had linen napkins, which made it awkward for me to dispose of my chewing gum. I had a 20 euro hamburger and I must say it was very good. I ate it with a knife and fork because I felt they were judging me. I was wearing a mambo hoody with food stains on it that stinks, they were definitely judging me. But my ability to eat a hamburger with a knife and fork even surprised me, so they must've really changed their tune about me.

After that I went for a wander. It is 2 degrees here but the air is still and it is really nice to walk around in. Not cold at all with my coat. I'm actually a bit sick of having to take stuff off every time I go indoors. I kinda wish they'd just let it be cold everywhere. 

I saw the Eiffel tower off in the distance. There were 2 Japanese girls taking videos of a third Japanese girl walking with the Eiffel Tower in the background. It was so cringe worthy. The effort they went to to act natural. I walked around in the background of their shot for a bit so I'll probably be on a tiktok somewhere. 

I wandered back to the hotel. I had booked a 5 bed dorm, but they told me the dorm was closed, so they have put me in a proper room. I'm pretty happy about that, I have a big bed and my own bathroom! Pretty good for something like 30 euros a night! I spent this evening watching spurs shit the bed again and washing some clothes in the shower.

I have tomorrow in Paris then I'm off to London the day after. 

Manila Malta

 I woke this morning at 5am after a 10 hour sleep. I stuffed around for 3 hours on YouTube and Facebook. Amazing how much time you can burn away. I headed out around 8 towards the scooter rental.  On the way I bought a lamb wrap, which was a chicko roll full of lamb, and it was fantastic. The weather report wasn't good for today and the scooter rental place was shut due to the rain. I walked down towards the water and it was honestly as nice a day as you could imagine.

I had a look on maps and I was about 30 metres from another scooter place. It was called Bodgy Barry's mad scooter emporium and dead cat disposal or something similar. Naturally I hired a scooter from him. He asked if I'd ridden a 125 before. I said yes. He asked if it was a long time ago, I said yes, but I ride a 900 at home. I was feeling pretty smug. That satisfied him. Then I took off and nearly stacked it straight away.

This bike is something else. You have to get it up to about 7000 revs before it starts moving. The front brake is pretty close to nonexistant, the rear brake is super glue. I'd say that is by design. I had a look at the front tyre and have never seen a tyre so degraded, and I've had tyres that have warped because the mesh inside has rusted away. This one is worse, with a crack running rhw circumference so it is like 2 front tyres. The rear tyre is merely bald. It does, however, get me to different places.

If you look closely there are seagulls in the background looking to pop on this bike (that's actually the tip). 


I rode up and down the promenade because the bike was on empty when I picked it up and there was supposed to be a petrol station. I eventually found it and filled up. It was 7 euros. Unfortunately the check engine and oil pressure light remained on, even with a full tank. I tried to leave the city and ended up on a highway (which isnt actually much in Malta), so I got off it after about 400 metres, followed the road around and ended up on the same bloody highway back the other way. I then decided to follow the coast, that way I couldn't get lost. I did this and went through some really nice areas, eventually leaving the city. I got stuck behind a garbage truck so pulled off the highway down a side road beside the water. I took a photo of the bike there. The tip is in the background, where the bike is destined. I should point out I actually have no problem with the bike. It hasn't wronged me, it's just shit is all.

After that I rode in random directions and ended up spotting a big fortress thing. I made my way up there and it was Mdina, the "silent city". It used to be the capital of Malta, but the Knights Hospitallier took over and shifted the capital. That might not be true. I googled the place and it apparently has a population of 93. There were a few thousand people wandering the streets and they weren't silent. Apparently at night when the visitors leave it is eerie, because it actually does become silent.

The town outside the fortress thing was quite nice to walk around. I did see 2 old ladies in a shop abusing the shit out of the lady serving. Like, really getting stuck in. I thought I might be a robbery or something. I don't get involved in old lady politics (except at work), so I moved along.

Inside the fortress there is a whole other town. I suspect it is a bit like how Venice or Mont St Michel or Timbertown is a town. They exist solely for tourists. But it was quite a impressive structure regardless. And it did look like there were genuine houses in there.

I thought I took more photos on my phone. 

That is it from the point of view of the people receiving the cannon fire. 

In 1565 there was a Siege of Malta, and the Mdina fortress or whatever it is actually called was going to be taken by the Ottomans as they needed somewhere to spend the winter. It was poorly defended and easy pickings. The few soldiers began firing upon the Ottomans ridiculously early, with their few cannonballs, way before they were in range and in ways that would never possibly cause any harm. This convinced the Ottomans that the Maltese defenders had an abundance of ammunition and they called off the attack. If that is REALLY what happened, it is genius. From what I've read, everyone thinks the Maltese did that on purpose as a subterfuge... I'm VERY skeptical.

After that I made my way towards the Dingli cliffs. I rode the wrong direction often but eventually made it there. The cliffs were probably nice. As far as I can tell, you get to the top of a hill, then you walk down a very intense looking path, then you get to the top of the cliffs. Naturally I'm not walking down hill to get to the top of the cliff, that'd be madness. The view was nice enough I suppose, if you'd never seen the ocean before. The road was great. I followed it for ages. Single lane, no traffic, no idea where I went. Reminded me a bit of the old cycling days.

The cliff actually begins down the bottom on the left. As if I'm going to walk down there!


I'd actually been riding this horror for about 5 hours by this stage, despite only visiting a tip and a fortress and some cliffs that were too far down hill for me. The promised rain looked like it was inbound so I started back to the hostel. It was 19 minutes away. It took me about an hour and a half because I am completely unable to navigate without gps support. I ended up in central Valletta and got overtaken by a bloody horse and carriage! I actually followed it for a long way and this horse was sitting on 30km/h for a long time! It went on the highway and everything. Anyway, I got caught in the rain. I eventually got back to Sliema, where I'm staying, but getting the scooter to the hostel was insane because pretty much every street here is one way.

I'm now at an English pub and it is lovely but really out of place.

I thought I should add, Malta is very nice. The people are so kind and friendly. They stop their cars if it looks like I might want to cross, apologise if I get in their way and are generally really friendly. The ocean is beautiful and the promenades are next level nice. It is the sort of place you come to and thing you could live here, then you think about week 2 living here, then week 3, week 4. It's just too small. I don't know how there isn't more crime out of sheer boredom (like Kempsey).

OK, I'm done. These blogs never used to be so long winded. I think when there is actual interesting stuff to write about, you don't need to write as much.

I found this at the top of a hill, but couldn't get closer as it was fenced off. There was sign that said CCTV in operation. I was skeptical and looked for the cameras. It's in this photo... 

It's on the bloody crusifix! 


OK I'm posting without reading back. The errors will be forever more. Hello mother. 

It's been too long! Sydney to Guangzhou to Rome to Sorrento to Rome to Malta!

I figure I might start the blog again, even though it probably won't be interesting. I am currently on the Campiano express to Sorrento. I don't know what makes this train special, except it was three times the price. I didn't know that at the time of booking. It is noisy, slow, old, and my window is covered with graffiti so I can't see out. It did come with a lady that gathered us up at the station and walked us to the platform. I don't know why. She's on the train with us too.

I left Sydney a few days ago, flew to Guangzhou, stayed at a very nice and cheap hotel. The area was strangely quiet, except some arsehole honking his car horn repeatedly right through the night. The next day I discovered it wasn't one arsehole, it was several. They were at a neighbouring hotel and the automatic boom gate wasn't working so they would honk their horn until someone came out to let them out. 

I got the train into the city the following morning and went to the Canton Tower. It has an observatory similar to the one in every city. Guangzhou was quite nice. More akin to Singapore than Bangkok. Very calm for the most part. I walked from Canton tower over the bridge to the museum and opera house on the other side. There is an enormous square that is decidedly rectangular. Underneath is the mall of the world. It is a big rabbit Warren of shopping. I wanted a headphone flight adapter, the sort of thing that costs 30 cents from alibaba, but I couldn't find a single shop selling shitty Chinese stuff. It was all very nice. There was a bloke in a suit with white gloves ushering me into a store that sold nothing but crocs. 

I waited around in that square for the sun to go down. The tower lights are switched on so I snapped some photos then jumped on the metro back to the airport. In rush hour on a Friday. I've never seen so many people crushed together so tightly and still manage to stay on their phones. In fact everyone seemed to be on their phones at all times. It was actually bizarre. 

I took much better photos on my proper camera. 

That smog got worse in the time I was up there. 

I flew into Rome yesterday. Arrived at 6:20am. Got the train into Termini, which is the central station. My hotel is across the road, so I dropped my bags and went to the Vatican. Because it was so early there was hardly a line to go into St Peters. It was pretty impressive, I must say. Number 1 Church I reckon. I went and had a look at where the dead pope's are interred, then went to the Sistine chapel, but couldn't figure out the ticket situation as I don't think it was open, so I went back to the hotel and slept for 13 hours. 

This morning I went to the colloseum before the sun came up as I was awake from jet lag. It was quite cool being there so early, literally and figuratively. There were one or two other early birds. I wandered around taking photos then headed back to check out and get on the train to napoli, and now Sorrento. So far I have mostly eaten burger king, McDonald's and airplane food. Looking forward to something Italian in Sorrento. 

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OK, quite a bit of time has passed. Sorrento was nice. I stayed in an apartment and they had upgraded me so I had a balcony. It was really nice. The first night there I walked down to a restaurant that was recommended only to find a huge queue. So I walked back and stopped at a restaurant I believe nobody has recommended, ever. Plastic chairs, tables and walls, but the waiter was really nice and the food was decent, especially for the price. I planned to get up for the sunrise the following day, but the sun kinda didn't rise. It poured with rain. So I spent a good part of the day inside. I did venture out to the nearby fishing village, which actually isn't a seperate village anymore. It sits on its own little cove and the fishing families apparently also have restaurants. The food was good there and not too expensive but far more expensive than the place with plastic chairs. The waiter also stood in judgement while I ate. 

He'd just given me a spoon in disgust then turned and stood with his back to me like that. I don't think he could take it anymore. 

There isn't a whole lot to do in Sorrento except wander the cobblestone streets and look at things you don't want to buy. I spent the second evening taking some photos. I tried to sneak down this private road that runs along a crack in the cliff. The town Christmas tree was at one end of the crack and I wanted to get to the other end to take a photo of the tree. It would've been a good shot, but unfortunately security caught me almost immediately. 

View from the balcony

The crack. I was trying to get to that building at the end on the right side. The private road runs through those trees. 

Train from Sorrento. I believe that is Mount Vesuvius in the distance. 

I went back to Rome and stayed in a hostel near the Vatican. When I arrived at the hostel there was no hostel and no signs. I eventually found the hostel listed on a building entry. I rang the buzzer and it didn't buzz. A local went through the big wooden door and I followed her. It opened up into a huge courtyard with stairs and doors everywhere. I wandered around for a bit and another local pointed me towards the hostel. It was definitely a unique set up and so incredibly poorly communicated. When I checked in I asked the guy about booking an airport transfer for boxing day, as I thought it might be difficult to organise on Christmas day. He told me not to worry, which is terrible advice. 

I ducked out that evening for some food. I walked down this street with heaps of restaurants until I got to the McDonald's at the end. I actually hate sitting down in a restaraunt on my own for a meal. It is boring as. I wanted takeaway but I couldn't find any. So I got my McDonald's and felt awkward walking past all those fancy restaraunts with maccas, so I cut down a side street and headed towards the river to find a quiet place to eat. I ended up on this well lit boulevard and there was a seat. I started eating and noticed people taking photos. I turned around and St Peter's Basilica was right there! So I ate my McDonald's with quite a view. I also got some weird looks off all the jealous people. I then wandered closer to see what the fuss was about. People were going through security and I heard a kiwi bloke say "This intry luks qwoiter shirrun" to his wife, Sharon, so I figured I'd go through the quiet entry and I ended up at the midnight mass, which is conveniently held 5 hours before midnight. It was deeply, profoundly boring, plus I had to poo, so I left after about 10 minutes. Got some good photos though. I also let my hair down thinking I'd look like Jesus and everyone would go into hysterics, but I looked like Hagrid from Harry Potter instead. 

Yer a wizard, Harry! 

Not a bad spot for some maccas! 

For Christmas I went and had breakfast then wandered to the Vatican for the Pope's address, the Urbi et Orbi. There were far less people than the night before but the entry took quite a while. Over half an hour. The pope came out and spoke. The only words I understood were Columbia, Venezuela, Gratzi and Amen. It was really cool though and he kept it fairly brief. There were a bunch of different varieties of guards on parade as well. 

I spent the afternoon wandering, making my way towards the pantheon, but I somehow missed it. I've been there before so I gave up and had dinner at a restaraunt. The blokes working there wanted me to take their photo and I did and it's actually really good, so now I have to send it to them. I then waited on the Umberto Bridge for the sun to go down. There is a good shot of the Sant Angelo Bridge with the basilica in the background. I waited there for like an hour and a half and I'm not sure if I got a very good shot. I probably took about 50. After that I went back to the hostel and prepared for my flight the following morning. 

There was only 1 other guy in my hostel room. A Nigerian guy I barely spoke to. He seemed nice though. He snores really badly. I have sleep apnea and so does he. But when he stops breathing he panics and sits bolt upright. This happened repeatedly. I know that feeling, but I don't jump up. On the first night he jumped up so violently he fell out of the bed. I was awake at 3:30 this morning (I have made no attempt to adjust to the time difference, I'm enjoying being up early) and he launched himself up and stared straight at me for at least 30 seconds. It was like he thought I was somehow messing with his sleep. It was a little unnerving. 

I left the hostel at 4am so didn't get a chance to tell that bloke he has sleep apnea. It was in a hostel in 2012 that someone first told me I have it, so it would've been nice to pass on the favour. I got the 4:30am bus to the airport, so I could be 2 hours early for my 7:10 flight because Ryanair are pricks and I thought they'd screw me somehow. Turns out, I was checked in, bags dropped and through security by 5:30. I have a hole in my coat pocket so I put stuff inside the lining of my coat so they didn't ping me for my bag not fitting (they were walking up and down the line getting people). 

I'm now in Malta, and I must say first impressions are very good. It is 14 degrees, so not as warm as I expected, but still very nice in the sun. There were people swimming in the ocean. The buses were easy to navigate from the airport, everything was calm, the people seem nice. Im in a private room at a hostel. It is in an area called Sliema. I walked down the street to the promenade along the water, which was very nice. It seems fairly cheap. There is a Lidl nearby too. Lidl is like aldi, but in my opinion much better. If you were to go back about 100 entries in this blog, I am sure I would've expressed my love for brie foccacias from Lidl. Well when I walked in the bread section was right in front of me and I was so excited, but... No brie foccacias! Instead they had goats cheese foccacias which were also very very good. 59 cents each... 

I'm now back at the hostel. I'm going to post this then settle in to watch the spurs game. Then I'll map out some places to get to tomorrow.  I'm going to probably hire a scooter and see as much of the island as I can.