Paris, London, Munich, Austria

 So, after the last blog post, I spent the day in Paris walking around. The Eiffel tower was covered in mist all day. I walked down to the army museum but it wasn't open. I had to book a time slot so I booked 4pm. I then followed the river around to the Eiffel tower, then went across the river, back around to the louvre on the other side of the river, then back to the army museum but I was too early so I went back to the hotel for a rest. I then went to the army museum to look at all the white flags. 

I was shocked to find quite an enormous museum without any white flags. Because I'd booked the last slot of the day I only had 2 hours, so didn't actually get to see it all and missed the Napoleon stuff, which was really annoying. I did see his coffin, which I didn't actually take a photo of with my phone. It was very big. I reckon you could fit 200 people in it if you weren't careful with how you stacked them. It also occurred to me that the Nazis have a really cool font. I took a photo of a nazi artefact and a guy gave me a look and whispered to his girlfriend. But it is a cool font.

I saw this homeless bloke laying across the footpath like that at about 9am. At 6:30pm he was still there. I was wondering why he wasn't under a bridge or something, so I studied his habitat and discovered that he is laying on a grate that has steam coming out of it. Probably the warmest spot for a homeless bloke in all of Paris! 

Mostly took this photo because of how camp they all look. 

Not Napoleon's coffin. Think it might be his cousin or someone. 

The grounds of the army museum. 

The following day I went to London on the Eurostar. I reckon if there is a 4 hour train ride or a 1 hour flight, the train ride is worth it. So comfortable and pleasant. I spent new years eve with Charles. We went to a weatherspoons, which is a cheap, seedy English pub. Pints were about 1/3 of the price of a normal pub. 

The following day Charles and Ernesta and their 2 boys came into London and we met up with Shannon, Lily, Eve, Prash, Siobhan, Kumal, and their daughter Margot for a Lavender Hill catch up. 

I stayed with Shannon right next to the London Eye. 

View from the room. 

The Lavender Hill mob. 

We went to see Matilda the next day and it was outstanding. Cannot praise it highly enough. 

The day after that we went to the Tate Modern, mostly for the view from the top (the art was pure garbage, honestly) the went ice skating at Somerset House. 

My usual Big Ben photo. 

The following day Shannon and the girls left for Munich. I went back to Charles' place and we went to the football. It was Tottenham vs Newcastle and Tottenham lost. We had really good seats thanks to Lyn and her contact in London. It is the first time I've been at a game and not looked at the big screen once. The game was really exciting despite the loss, and we only lost because the ref is useless, which is the only reason why I ever lose to be fair. 

Turns out I didn't take many photos... 

The next day I flew to Munich. My flight was in the afternoon and was delayed. When they were loading the luggage into our plane, the brakes on the luggage car thing failed. It rolled into the plane and at that moment a big jet went past and the backwash from the engines blew the luggage car into the engine of our plane! 

So I got to Munich late, but got through the airport and onto the train really quickly. When I got to the hotel Shannon and the girls were ready to go to the beer hall. We got there at about 10 to 10. There weren't many toddlers there apart from Lily and Eve. The walk to the beer hall was all of my experience of Munich. 

The following day we got the train to Zell Am See in Austria. It included a 10 minute change of train in Salzburg, which was a concern as Shannon has an insane amount of luggage. I don't know how she managed to get this far, but I suppose she didn't have a 10 minute change in Salzburg before. We actually got in trouble on the train from the pink haired fuhrer who demanded we move our bag. There was nowhere available, the entire train was full of luggage, so it ended up jammed in front of Eve's seat. This pink haired monster was a caricature of every portrayal of a nazi depicted. 

Anyway, we got up very early and clogged the exit with our luggage to block everyone else, then chucked it off at Salzburg and took off to the other train. We actually made it quite easily thanks to Lily running ahead to commandeer the lift down. 

The train to Zell Am See was full of what we thought were football fans on the drink. We tried to figure out what match they were going to and after some investigation Shannon realised they were going to the ski jumping, of all things. She jumped on viagogo and got some last minute tickets, but they screwed us over, which turned out to be a good thing. 

The apartment in Zell Am See is very nice, right in the very centre of the town. The supermarket is across the square from us so I ducked over to get some beer and there was an almighty racket going on. I had a look and there were monsters walking amongst the crowd. I filmed them for a bit and one came over to me and whipped me on the back of the legs! 

I messaged Shannon to bring the girls and they came down. They gave Eve lollies but continued to whip me. Shannon didn't actually know what she was coming down to see, and spotted me in the crowd. She brought the girls over only to realise it wasn't me, but a Krampus! It was a public holiday and apparently the Krampus come out to scare the children into obedience! It was a lot of fun and probably a highlight of the trip, which is why it was a blessing that the ski jump tickets fell through. 

Yesterday we went for our ski lesson. Shannon and I had skiied before and Lily was a natural. The lesson was mostly getting Eve up to speed. Today we had another lesson just for Eve in the hope to get her to the point where she could come on the big hills. Eve went from new born deer levels of coordination to a few minute old deer level in those lessons, and by the end looked better than all of us. Lily started to seem like the weak link instead. 

We decided to give it a go anyway, although with quite a bit of concern. We went to the top in a gondala, then up further in a chair lift. At the top there was a gentle kids run that was really fun for all of us. It came out onto the slope and it all went pear shaped. The steepness of the hill freaked me out, so I did a tactical stack straight away. When I got up, Shannon and Eve were on the ground with Eve crying. Lily went down, I think just to join in. They carried on skiing a bit but it was like Eve had lost all her confidence and was a new born deer again. I continued, then stopped and waited, then went again. Eventually I figured there was much that could be done and they decided to walk down the hill. I got to the bottom and could see Shannon and Eve walking, but no Lily. Lily actually managed to ski down as well.

How Australians Ski - walking down the hill. 

Shannon's feet were knackered and Eve was scared. Lily also had a little sook and they all laid in the snow like this:

They did not know I was taking this photo, this is not a pose. 

I was a bit scared coming down the hill too, so was happy to give up, but surprisingly Lily wanted to go again, so we did. We ended up going a few times and she made it look easy. On our second go up, I somehow forgot to stand up out of the chairlift and slid don't on my bum. On our final go, Lily spread her feet getting off the chairlift, pushing me over to the side where a poor woman was. I in turn forced her I've into a pole. It was CLEARLY Lily's fault, but this woman gave me the filthiest look. That was the moment I decided that would be our last run. On the actual descent's, however, neither of us fell and on that last one we kinda went really quickly.

I think tomorrow we might pack skiing in and find a less terrifying activity.

I got this photo from the top of the mountain though. Think it is the pick of the trip so far!