Bangkok

Ahhh, Bangkok. Where the Land of Smiles becomes a sharp grimace. The best you can hope for here is that the poo you just trod in might have come from a dog. Urine soaked back streets provide a welcome relief from the stench of the sewers but a drip of water on your neck evokes panic regardless. If a store has a footpath outside it means it also has a drive through. Mcdonalds, ordinarily a cesspool, has become a sanctuary of cleanliness. Why am I itchy?

I arrived this morning after catching the sleeper train. I thought this would be a better option than a bus as it only costs 110baht more, frees up a day and counts as accomodation. I didn't count on it taking half a day and 350 baht to get to the train station yesterday though.

I've just booked a hostel, but it is only 8:30am. Far too early to check in. I'm around the corner from Jim Thompson House. I vaguely remember hearing about him from last time I was here. I think he opened up the fabric industry, maybe. I suppose I'll go find out.

The photo is of train food. It's the only photo I took yesterday.

Coastal Tour

Continuing from the last post, the spider laid in wait inside the scooter somewhere. I decided that if I was riding quickly, it wouldn't be able to come out to attack. So I jumped on the scooter and took off, locking myself into a version of the movie Speed.

I had decided to take myself on a trip down to Ton Sai beach. I was looking at staying there but decided to stay here instead. The roads were very nice, weaving in between these geological formations (I don't actually know what they are called. They're like islands but on the land. I assume they are limestone, which would make them Karst formations. But who cares right?).

I got down to Ao Nang, which was a fairly decent sized town with a vibe a bit like South West Rocks in summer holidays. Eg. Extremely busy and full of tourists. The beach there was nice but it was low tide. I also discovered that you can't access Ton Sai by road, only boat or foot. I wasn't willing to pay for a boat so I decided to take some quiet country lanes to get to another beach.

Before I could though, I came across a police checkpoint so I turned down a side street and stopped for a drink. The police have apparently been targeting tourists on scooters and asking for international driving permits. I don't have one, nor do I have a motorbike licence. The fine (bribe) is about $5-10 so I decided if they want to fine me I'll just pay it. When I set off again they were gone, and I passed them beginning to set up further down the road.

I had a look at some more beaches and coastal towns. It was all fairly standard stuff. I left to come back and managed to get myself lost. I had a map so it wasn't a big deal. Instead of turning around I decided to go with it and ended up on this muddy dirt path, slipping and sliding and spinning along on this scooter. Definitely not built for dirt!

I did get to see these lovely, quiet, genuine villages out amongst the palm plantations. I was quite a novelty, with the younger people and kids smiling, laughing and waving while the older men would give me the stink eye.

I stopped at one point to take a photo and
when I set off again I noticed a few large black legs coming around the side of the mirror. The battle had resumed.

I couldn't go fast because if he flew off, he'd land on me. So I stopped in the middle of this village and got an 8 ft long stick. Not long enough, but I was trying to be brave. It's hard to aim an 8 ft long stick, so this dance began where the spider would easily dodge and I'd manoeuvre to try again. The locals seemed to understand what I was doing. Eventually the spider went to the top of the mirror and I was able to scrape him onto the road. I didn't kill him as I'm even more afraid of spider ghosts.

Last night I went for a swim in the bioluminescent water. I take back what I said a few posts ago. It is definitely better here than at home. In fact it's quite different. As I'd move my hands dozens of prices of light would fly out light I was a magician. In Turkey it was light a spotlight from heaven shining down,so you couldn't make out the individual lights. Here it was magical in its own way. In Australia you have to splash around. When I got out of the water I rubbed my belly and I'd glow for a few seconds. It was really cool.

I'm about to check out and make my way to Bangkok, most likely on a sleeper train. I'll probably come back to the islands some other time. I'm ready to head to Laos and Cambodia.

Spider

A quick update. I'm currently standing on the side of the road about 2 metres from my scooter, which has been hijacked by a spider. It appeared on my right mirror so I immediately skidded to a halt out the front of this house and ceded the scooter. I've been trying to be less of a sissy when it comes to spiders but this one is unlike any I've seen before. It has really thick legs and more hair than me. I rallied, grabbing a stick to approach it. It backed away behind the mirror for a little while and then leapt from the mirror onto the front bit of the bike, immediately into a combat stance. I retreated. It also did. It was peaking at me from behind the base of the mirror (see the photo). Since I've been writing this it has climbed up the mirror in a show of dominance. My only hope is to attack it from afar or await reinforcements. There is a lady at this house who I'm hoping will come help. Oh shit, it's disappeared! No doubt an ambush has been set.

Island kayaking

Yesterday I hired an ocean kayak for the exorbitant price of 500b. I think that's nearly $20. I took myself out to the nearest Island, which is about a km and a half away. It was a really hard slog. I'd later realise the kayak had a substantial amount of water in it, combined with me sitting in the rear seat, meant that I was paddling up hill.

About half way across to the island there were these fish traps. A permanent net stretched from close to the shore across the bay a few hundred metres and at the end it has a round enclosure made of branches driven into the bottom. I assume the fish hit the net and follow it along to the traps. I used one if these for a rest.

When I reached the island there was a man working some sort of aquaculture, or maybe growing oysters. The entire operation, including his hut, was floating at the base of the cliffs on this island. There is nowhere to land on the island so I paddled around the sides and found some little openings in the cliffs that opened into big caves. It was really cool. I took a few photos but it was tricky.

From that Island I paddled another km or so to the next Island, which is called monkey Island. There was another large cave in this island and a nice small beach around the side. I had a look in the cave, which was really peaceful except for the occasional squeaking of bats, then went to the little beach to eat my lunch. It was surrounded by cliffs with trees growing out of it on all sides. After about half an hour there, 2 other people from the place I'm staying arrived and a monkey came down and stole their food.

They left and I stayed for a bit longer and watched this monkey climb the cliffs. I was starting to get hungry again and the paddle back was long. I emptied the water out and sat in the middle of the kayak, which made paddling much easier, but I was still knackered. When I got back it was low tide. Those fish traps with the permanent nets became a maze as the nets were now 4 feet out of the water (I know what you're thinking dad, but they didn't have a lead line to lift, they were attacked to these branches). I made my way through and got to the mud flat... Which was about half a km from my destination!

So I pushed, pulled and kicked the kayak back. It took me at least an hour. I seriously considered sitting there for 2 hours to wait for the tide. There was supposed to be a channel, but it started 200 metres from the water and was about 5cm deep. It also zigged and zagged, making it longer and only slightly easier to drag.

Today I've hired a scooter. My intention was to ride to the Tiger Cave Temple. It sits atop a hill and has a massive staircase to get there. I'm not sure if I'm going to go. My knees are rat shit. If I do I'll go tonight or early tomorrow morning for sunset/sunrise. I just went to this little beach thing. It is at the bottom of a steep hill/cliff. I didn't bring swimmers or shoes so I didn't bother climbing down.

Photos are:

The first Island.

Crack in the rock.

Looking up inside the crack.

Monkey Island, taken from the 1st Island.

Looking up from the base of the 1st Island.

Cave on monkey Island x2.

The beach on Monkey Island x2.

Trying to get a sunset photo.

The ledge I was too afraid of standing on this morning.

Outside Krabi

I've moved on to this place outside Krabi. It's fairly remote, although I do think if decent directions were provided it would probably be far less remote. I was instructed to catch the bus from the green and pink house 200m from the bus terminal. There are almost no houses near the bus terminal within that radius, and tonnes outside it. I walked around for an hour and a half before I noticed a distinctly green apartment building. Next to it was a very pink one. Out the front was a ute with seats in the back (they have a name here - there are a lot of them - but one name they don't have is "bus". In fact I don't think they have any buses bigger than a 13 seater.

I arrived here and the place is very nice. Lots of coconut trees and mangroves, hammocks and animals around. There is a board walk through the mangroves out to the sea, and islands in the distance. Tonight a bunch of people went swimming as the water has bioluminescent plankton. I've gotta say, it's better at home and a million times better in Turkey. There was some impressive lightning in the distance though.

Tomorrow I'm hiring a kayak for 500 baht, which I'm disgusted by as that is $18, and I'm going to kayak to these 4 islands that Google tells me exist. I can see one of them, so that a plus. In the past google has repeatedly stitched me up with a lack of bridges. This time I just want the land to exist.

Photos are:
Looking out the back of the bus.

Walk through the mangroves.

Pink and green "house".

Koh Lanta

After a speedboat, night bus, bloke with a car, police car and two mini buses I made the trip from the Perhentian Islands to Koh Lanta. It took 27 hours, although a good chunk of that was waiting for the night bus.

I met up with Mihai and an Italian bloke he met called Stefano. He'd been living in Australia and was making his way back to Italy to surprise his mum. Stefano is probably the most laid back bloke I've met, while Mihai is easily the most highly strung. They balanced each other out nicely.

The first day I was here I mainly caught up on sleep. The highlight of the day was watching a Russian girl rent a scooter, ride it four metres and crash it into some rocks right in front of the bloke she just rented it from, then state that it isn't like driving a car.

The next day I went to the beach and I have to say it is kinda disappointing. The beach is probably a few km long and bars and restaurants line all of it. The water is nice but I really don't like having all this shit on the beach. I used to drive to Redhead in Newcastle because the Newcastle beaches don't feel like beaches with concrete instead of dunes.

The next day I went with Mihai. In standard fashion, he had befriended the owner (Trey) and made grand plans to transform this jungle block the owner has into an adventure park, where the main attraction was to catch and ride a buffalo. You can't make this stuff up.

They took me for a spin out to see this block and I've gotta say, it's pretty nice, but it used to be rice paddies so it's prone to flooding. As we walked around, Trey picked dozens of different plants to use in his restaurant and I ate quite a few of the leaves and could recognise the flavours. I suggested he open a little cooking school with accomodation as everything he needs is already growing there. His heart is set on a buffalo riding adventure Park though.

Last night I went night swimming. A guy was walking the beach selling lanterns. I was saying how hard a job that was so Mihai, always unable to let things rest, decided to explain to the guy how to improve his business by having an already lit lantern to demonstrate. The guy didn't speak English well, but if he did I'm sure he'd point out that if he lights a lantern it will burn all the fuel and be a waste of stock. Regardless, the guy walked back past 5 minutes later and told us to look, because he'd just sold 10 lanterns. In fact he'd actually sold about 25 of them, which made him 5000 baht, or 200 dollars. So I guess he doesn't have a bad job after all! The people he sold them too lit them and we watched them float away. They never cease to amaze.

Today I intended on leaving this place for Koh Samui but I hadn't done my research. Koh Samui is 10 hours away and the bus had already left. Instead, I'm going to go to this remote place on the outskirts of Krabi. It looks nice and relaxed. I'm not really enjoying the manufactured experiences I'm getting so I'm thinking of skipping out on southern Thailand all together after that. It isn't even that cheap and quite frankly I'm a beach snob.

Police cops.

Just a quick update. I got off the night bus not certain as to whether I slept at all.

A guy with a car was there and offered to take me to the border to Thailand for 60 ringgit. This seemed steep, but turned out to be a good deal. The drive was over an hour through the mountains. We screeched around the corners.

I walked across the border and the plethora of empty minibuses desperate for passengers that I was promised were distinctly absent. With not much else to do I started walking. At the bottom of the hill there was a police checkpoint so I asked the policeman how to get to Satun, which is the nearest town. At that moment his buddy arrived in an unmarked police car. The policeman called his wife, who spoke English, and she said it costs 600 baht. I assumed she meant for the taxi they were going to call, but they meant for them to take me.

I agreed, but first we had to have breakfast. The 3 policemen shared their brekky with me - cakes and coffee - and made jokes about how I'm too big to arrest.

I set off with one of the policemen and as he didn't speak English we had to communicate in the international language of football. That's how I learned that he was a "yeah blud, you hear me fam" arsenal supporter (if you don't understand the reference look up arsenal fans on youtube). We said player names and did thumbs up or thumbs down.

He called his wife again and she explained that I needed to wait for a lotus express bus. I repeated this back to her and she kept saying it's wrong. After a while I realised that we were parked outside a tescos express, which they call lotus express. I could catch any bus from there.

Since I've been writing this the bus arrived and I'm now on my way to Trang. It is 100 baht... Much cheaper than the 600 the po po charged but then again, the bus has to go the speed limit.

I'm going to try to get to Koh Lanta from Trang today.

The photo is me with the policeman having breakfast.

Perhentian Islands

Well, I'm on my own again. My Czech friends (Ramana, George, Marie and, Milan) just left by taxi in a rush to get to the next town over to get a bus south. I'm going to head back to Kuala Perlis on the night bus and head to Thailand tomorrow. It was very sad to see them go but plans are already made for a reunion in a few months in Czech. I can't wait to see them in their natural habitat.

The Perhentian Islands were amazing. Very good tip from Matt, although I probably still wouldn't have gone if it wasn't for the Czech connection. After 4 days of no boats to the island, we were the first visitors for a while and had the small island basically to ourselves for the first day. The weather was superb. The monsoon seems to be over early, thanks climate change! Accomodation was cheap and the food was good and reasonably priced. I had 7 milkshakes.

We went on a snorkelling trip on the second day, which costs rm30 per person and went all day. Because of the previous few days weather the visibility wasn't great and some if the Coral had been knocked around a bit. Even so, there were a lot of fish, mostly parrot and clown fish. We didn't get to see a shark and only saw one massive turtle from the boat. A sucker fish tried to latch onto me, repeatedly. It followed me all the way back to the boat and wouldn't leave me alone, no matter how many times I hit it.

Yesterday we went for a walk through the jungle. The Island doesn't have any roads and only a few paths. All the development is focused around several beaches, and transferring between them is generally done by water taxi. There is a "board walk"  however, that goes from Coral Bay (where we were staying) 3km to the fisherman's village (in reality the closest thing to a town on the small island). The boardwalk was actually pavers laid directly onto the jungle floor. So naturally large portions had been washed away. Still, it was a nice walk, even if it had some nasty, disgusting hills.

Now I'm sitting here at the bus station, stinking and surrounded by flies. I'm hoping I can get to Thailand with the little cash I have left. I don't want to withdraw any more ringgit. I'm still travelling on the money from my last pay - haven't started on savings yet - and I haven't exactly been thrifty.

Photos are:
Ben turtle rides again.

Our accomodation at Coral Bay from the jetty.

A mosque on prime real estate at the fisherman's "village".

Romantic Beach (that's the name, not an opinion).

Marie doing some weird yoga/tea drinking combo on the beach.

Snorkelling trip selfie.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat" white whale.

Dinner selfie.

Photo of a photo with Ramana because she still hasn't sent me the original... I know you're reading this Ramana.

Jungle path.

Kuala Besat

The night bus wasn't too bad. The seats were comfortable and they reclined all the way back. Of course, the air conditioner was set to Arctic, as is standard for any night bus. It is the only time I've needed a jumper so far this trip. The driver also drove the double decker through the hills like it was WRC.

We arrived in Kuala Besut and went straight to a travel agent. We had to wait to see if any boats were going to the Perhentian islands. They weren't.

We booked into a seedy motel in the main square. It is 14 ringgit per night (under au$5). All yesterday there was talk of boats. Some big comic book store looking guy came running in shouting that he'd just had to order his food to go because there's a boat. Another person said that there was one last night but it was 100 ringgit.

A guy on a motorbike basically rounded us up last night and ushered us to a rival travel agent. We humoured him, which was a mistake. This morning he was out again, rounding people up. Some guys from our original travel agent confronted him and I thought they were going to come to blows. It seems we are big business for them.

So now we are waiting for this bloody boat.

Langkawi again.

I left Dayang Bunting and joined up with the Czech people on Langkawi. Yesterday I took them to Tenjung Rhu beach, then we went to visit a waterfall and a monastery.

One of the Czech girls is blonde and these seedy Indian guys were fairly indiscreet as they took photos and videos of her. I'd like for them to visit Australia and try that on.

We are now going to the Perhentian Islands. It is the end of monsoon season over there so it could be a rainy disaster. I'm on the ferry from Langkawi to Perlis at the moment. Tonight we will get a night bus across to Kota Bhatu then a speedboat out to the islands.

Dayang Bunting

I've been on Dayang  Bunting for a few days now. It is exactly as I imagined it. Very very quiet.

I got a boat over and met a girl at the jetty, Shannon, who is also staying here. The local ladies on the boat were fascinated by her as they possibly don't see quite as many westerners. Shannon told me that men aren't supposed to show their knees either, so I've been letting them hang out. I swear I heard a lady whisper "Phoar, check out the knees on that guy".

We didn't know where to go when we arrived so we asked a group of local blokes. They sang out to a couple of dudes riding past on scooters who told us to get on. Shannon was reluctant but we got on and started down the road when a beat up old car arrived. The lady told us to get in there instead, and luckily she was the owner of the hostel.

I met a couple of other girls staying here and we went for a walk through the rubber plantations to a small waterfall. The waterfall was disappointing but the walk was nice. All the locals would say hello to us and we're very friendly. I touched some of the dried rubber. It felt rubbery.

That night a group of 4 Czech people arrived. They had mixed English abilities with only one of them good. They shared some traditional Czech paint stripper (made from plums, they say) and we had these hilarious conversations full of misunderstandings.

One of the Czech girls was fascinated with the US and asked Shannon a series of questions about what things they have in America. Do you have castles? Do you have laser games? Do you learn geography? Do you have paintball? Do you have botanical gardens? Etc. I found this hilarious. I've never thought to ask people if their country has botanical gardens.

The husband of the owner took Shannon and I on a tour of this and the next Island. He mainly did this to punish the other 2 girls here because they don't eat meat and are hard to cook for. He told us that when they opened their place it was free for anyone to stay, they just had to pay for food. His friend in the tourism department made him register the place, then various guests put him on airbnb, then hostelworld, then a third guest made him a website, www.barkatchalets.com, then they had to pay fees on TripAdvisor and do a tourism course (which is full time for 14 months in KL) and have vaccinations, so now they charge people to come here to cover that.

The food here is expensive, but well worth it. It is 50 ringgit a day. There are 4 or 5 dishes each night, all cooked Malaysian style. There's fresh prawn, crabs, fish, squid, octopus, chicken, salad, soup, spring rolls and rice. The place is basically a destination restaurant.

Shade (the host) also pointed out some mansions up the road. They are for the teachers in the school, but only 2 of 4 are occupied because they can't find teachers to work here. I was thinking this might be the place for me.

Tomorrow I go back to Langkawi for a couple of days. My plan was to buy a tent and camp on the north of the island at Tenjung Rhu beach, but the wind has picked up so I might scrap it. After Langkawi I'll head to Thailand. Ko Lanta is on the cards but there are some smaller islands further south that I might check out first.

Photos are:
Shannon taking a nap.

Fishing boats at about 2am when I couldn't sleep.

Water buffalo out the front of where we're staying.

Tuba Island.

Low tide out the front.

Walking through the rubber trees.